My evening and deep thoughts

Tonight, after an awesome evening of fellowship, good food and games at our pastor's house, Caleb and I went to a job he wanted to finish this week and sprayed primer. I got to help! A first for me. I've never sprayed paint or anything. It was a totally cool experience! Right now its all over me. Lol!

Now on to deeper things.
Lately I've been doing some thinking. I am in a very unique stage in life. I am not a young single woman, nor am I an experienced wife and mother. Sometimes it feels like I'm suspended between those two. Most of my friends are single. The ones that aren't, like me, are too busy adjusting to this new life to connect much. Then there are my married friends, that are already moms. I've always tried to relate to everyone, but lately it seems like its gotten harder.
Right now, I am changing and evolving. Its something that happens to every newly married person. You change. It happens. You adopt some of their habits and they adopt some of yours. You come from two different cultures created by your parents. They know what to expect from their culture and you know what to expect from yours. Then the two come together in your home and the two of you have to search and figure out what from each culture will work in your home. This is the stage of life I'm in. Its a good stage. I love it. It means change and accepting that.
Sometimes I have a hard time being comfortable around my old friends. I still love them all dearly and miss them more than words can express, but wonder if when I'm around them they think I'm strange. I am not the single girl they knew. I am now a married woman, but am still an adventuresome girl on the inside. Can they understand this?
I want to connect with people and have friends. I am very much a social person, I thrive around others. I am content with where I am at in life, where God has me. But sometimes I wonder, "Have all the changes been for the better? Is God still the most important thing to me? Do I really serve my husband the way God wants me to? Would my parents be proud of the home we are creating for their grandchildren? Have I loosened my standards or is my relationship with God stronger?" So many things, and so much more. These things are important to me. I love the person God is making me to be with Caleb. But am I truly allowing Him to shape me or do I unconsciously rebel and do things my way? I want to serve Him and my husband with all my heart. But sometimes I feel like I don't know how to without myself getting in the way.
I know this is a very long, rambling, confusing post and probably boring, especially if you have never been in this stage of life. I must be way over tired because I cried a lot writing this post. Maybe that what you get when you stay up with your husband at work because you hate to go home by yourself. It is now almost 5 am so I will say adieu and I hope y'all have a great rest of your weekend :)